Lar’s Testimony

The Living Waters Leadership Training last November was for me the most beautiful and most healing retreat I have attended in my whole life. God really made an appearance. He healed all of us. His Spirit was really moving, touching and healing our hearts and minds, restoring our lives. God’s work was not just healing us individually but healing His Body of its wounds and divisions into unity by genuine ecumenism.

Personally I was blessed with many breakthroughs. I was able to rediscover the presence of God — that His light illuminates all and that Jesus is ever present. He sees me and I can see Him too with spiritual eyes. I was able to meditate again with ease after a long time of dryness. In the silence I was also able to hear God’s voice in my heart.

In community I confronted the “unlove” in me, my lack of attention and charity towards our brothers and sisters. How true it is that the enemy wants to destroy relationships. In a conversation with one of the leaders she told me to give love to people because this is what will matter, this is what will heal them.

God also made me realize that I am still a “good boy” that I have not matured or grown up at heart. He also wants to restore my masculinity.  I just need to keep on looking at Him and true masculinity is in the inner heart, not externals.  I received His call for me to develop friendships with straight men to strengthen the masculine in me.

I also realized I do many things NOT for myself or God, but to please people.  He wants to heaI this approval addiction. I also officially forgave a priest who abused me spiritually twenty years ago and was able to close the door to sin – to sexual addiction and shopaholism – for good.  I smashed idols for a second time, promising God never to look back.

During the retreat God also told me to confess a sin to my sister and she forgave me, so my burdens and worries disappeared. From the talk on boundaries I also realized the need to find work to support myself.  I also heard God’s message to sit and stand straight, of His desire to correct my body posture.

I realized more deeply the truth that has also been said in the 25-weeks that I am called to focus on healing, that my identity is not defined by my struggles or issues. My true identity is who I am in Christ.

These are just a few of the breakthroughs I received during the retreat. I pray I will from now on live my life in their light – in God’s Light.

To the whole Team, thank you so much for being an instrument of God’s healing and restoration for me – for all of us.  You will always be remembered with loving-kindness and gratitude.

God bless you!!!!!!!

Lar, age 49, Tutor, Paranaque